Building a House or a Home

by Michael & Judy Ng

Over the last decade or so, we have seen a major development in the housing industry and almost over night, a new township of housing estates seem to sprout out of nowhere. In almost all the major cities, there has been a tremendous demand for both houses and condominiums. Though the demand for houses has reached a plateau, the prices are still very high. For the majority of us the excitement of owning our own house is short-lived when we are hit with the reality that we will spend the next 20 to 25 years paying for the housing loan--that is about one-third  of our lives, a very long time.

We may have already purchased a house or we may be contemplating to buy one in the near future but have we ever thought of how our home will turn out? Is our house a home? I can assure you that there are going to be many broken homes rather than houses. We may already have witness for ourselves many homes breaking up.

While it's true that we may spend one-third of our life paying for our house, building our home will take a life time and will demand much more of us. It is not difficult to buy or build a house if we have the money. With money, we can engage a contractor and build the house of our dreams. But, given the mooney and the same building materials, the contractor cannot build us a home. We can have a house but not necessarily, a home. We need to build our home with our heart. That is irreplaceable. We may have a big house with our own swimming pool and a luxurious garden; we can fill it up with antiques and valuables to impress our friends; throw parties and have lots of people over, yet when they leave, it is but a hauntingly empty house, not a home.

We spend too much money, time and energy on the exterior to make us feel and look good, but we have missed the heart of the matter--we have over-expended ourselves with the non-essentials. We need to take a hard look and begin to ask ourselves some hard questions like, "Am I building a house or a home?" "How does my wife and children fit into the picture?" "How would I want my family to be 5 or 10 years from now?" "What will my family be remembered for?"

Those are matters of the heart and the home. Matthew 6:21 tells us that "for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

We also read in Matthew 7:24-27: "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock ... the foolish man who built his house on sand ... and it fell with a great crash."

Likewise, our home will suffer a similar fate if we do not put into practice the biblical principles of building our home. The Bible is the ony blueprint whereby Christians must build their home. It is the only firm foundation that will withstand the constant onslaught from Satan and the negative influences and values of the world. Our families are vulnerable. Satan will take every opportunity to attack and break up relationships between husbands and wives. He will entice our children's young minds to the ways of the world--a seemingly more attractive and pleasurable world. Many homes are breaking up and many families are suffering. Our own family could be next. What kind of foundation are we building our home on? How firm is that foundation? How well prepared are we for the battle that is against our family?

The greatest battle, the real battle, is not fought on the battlefield but in our own homes. The casualties are very high. The badly wounded victims are our children, our husbands or our wives. When the casualties are high at home, the church grows weaker because she has to nurse the emotionally or spiritually injured back to health before they can function again.

Abraham Lincoln said, "The strength  of a nation lies in the homes of its people." The home is the backbone of the nation. When the family breaks down, so will society, so will the nation. If the homes of our churches are filled with burnt-out pastors, worn-out husbands, uptight wives, run-loosed children in a state of coomplete chaos, we cannot expect our churches to flourish. As a family, our pursuit must be towards building godly homes. This begins with a God-fearing man whose role is to be a husband and father, a God-fearing woman whose role is to be a wife and mother and together they raise up God-fearing children.

Michael is the National Director for FamilyLife Malaysia, a ministry of Malaysia Campus Crusade for Christ. In the insurance industry since 1987, he and his wife Judy have spoken at many FamilyLife conferences. They have been happily married since 1984 and have two daughters.