Midlife crisis: Fact or fiction?

by Rev Dr Herbert Tan

Midlife crisis, a concept popularized by Gould (1980) and Sheehy (1976) based on the study of midlife men by Levinson, was a major issue discussed by psychologists in the 80s. It is a period of life between 35 and 50 years of age where there is significant evaluation of one's life and a sense of not being able to move on and is usually accompanied by strong negative emotions. The view that this happens to most people has been disproved by researchers like Vaillant (1977), Clausen (1981), Haan (1981), and Baruch (1984).

Levinson's claims were based on a flawed study that only included men at a certain level of professional career and many more studies have actually shown that midlife crisis is not relevant in the lives of women and nonprofessional men. In fact one study showed that most men in their midlife were satisfied with their work and that "men and women felt relatively self-confident, insightful, resourceful in coping with stress, and were both introspective and open to others" (Clausen, 1981; Haan, 1981).

From the viewpoint of a standard treatment of career development like that of Donald Super's, end-of-the road decline usually takes place only after 65 and midlife is really a time of maintenance of what has been built up over the years. In older adulthood, the prospects of improving one's abilities in anticipation of future opportunities for achieving career objectives are not that motivating. Potentially this may happen earlier in an out of social clock timing situation.

However, from a Christian perspective, life and career should develop with an increasing sense of fulfillment and we only reach the zenith on the day of Christ. (2 Corinthians 3:18; Philippians 1:6). The Levitical developmental framework shows that life and ministry continue to grow through midlife and advance even beyond "retirement" age. The role of the Levites changes from being specialists in the temple with specific duties between the ages of 30 and 50 (Numbers 4:23, 30, 35) to that of being mentors and trainers to the younger Levites at 50 and beyond (Numbers 8:25-26). This is similar to the common Asian perspective that with age comes wisdom and out of that abundance of wisdom, the aged play an important role in helping to guide and preserve the next generation. In God's design, there should not be any decline in the Christian life and ministry.

While for most people, midlife crisis may not be a reality, there are serious stressors during that period which may affect the stability of the marriage and family. This may be in the form of major transitions in career as there are fewer options at that age. Such a situation could potentially give rise to a sense of being "locked in" and a feeling of stagnation.

The empty nest could also pose a problem, especially for couples that have not been building their marriage relationship. Suddenly, it is as though one is left with another stranger in the home once the last of the kids leave for college or work. This situation could potentially lead to a divorce if not handled properly.

One's perspective of life may also be affected by the realization that life has passed the mid-point and death is an increasingly conscious reality. People are confronted by death more and more as they experience their parents' death or one by one their friends pass away.

Perhaps some help comes from taking a look at developing one's personal leadership capacity in life and work. People who are not able to handle their midlife stressors well or the minority who go through midlife crisis need to learn to develop and move beyond their present personal leadership authority stage (Steve Hobson, 2000).

We move through stages where we exercise leadership authority differently. Stage 1 is leadership by using the zeal of personal faith; Stage 2 is leadership by using positional influence; Stage 3 is leadership by competence; Stage 4 is leadership by discernment; Stage 5 is leadership by spiritual character; Stage 6 is leadership by a lifetime of credibility. Someone who is in midlife should be somewhere in Stage 3 or 4. Midlife crises usually happen to people who have reached the higher positions in an organization and have no more advances to make. They are stuck at leadership by position.

Those who are stuck at earlier forms of personal leadership authority stages need to develop more advanced forms of personal leadership authority. As one applies the more advanced forms of personal leadership authority in family, work and ministry, most of the stressors will be taken care of. The advanced forms strongly bring one back to God and His Word. Those forms are concerned with seeing any work as a calling and as "unto the Lord" (Colossians 3:23-24); with cultivating marriage relationships in order to develop increasing oneness (Genesis 2:24-25); and with increasing fruitfulness and fulfillment whether in life or in death (Philippians 1:21-24).

Finally, we should, in the words of Ron Jenson, author of Achieving Authentic Success, "make things happen", that is, be assertive and proactive in our thoughts and actions.

Rev Dr Herbert Tan is a FamilyLife Consultant with MCCC. Married with 2 children, he does training for families and leaders who work with youths throughout Malaysia. He is also a Strategic Resource member of South-East Asia Campus Crusade for Christ.