True Love Waits
Reported by May Chen
"Get into society and serve" is the motto of the "I care Kuching" project which has been held for six years now. We ran a "Community Service Project" in the first year, a crime prevention event "A Second Chance at Life" in the second year, followed by an anti-ecstasy pill talk-show for primary and secondary school students in the third year. "Life can be good" was the educational theme in the fourth year, while in the fifth year it was all about "Life can be colorful." And each year God's presence and abundant blessings were evident.
The theme for this year was "True Love Waits". Realizing that problems concerning boy-girl relationships are on the increase among today's youth, we saw the need to guide and teach them in this area. In partnership with the 13 secondary and two primary school counseling groups we contacted, we ran an educational campaign and organized a talk on this important topic. A total of 8631 students heard the message. Even the Chinese Press chipped in to help promote and report on the event. We give thanks to God for all his wonderful surprises.
"No sex before marriage, no adultery after marriage" was the slogan for the event. The main speaker, counselor Ms. Yap Suke Fong from the Family Service Center, brought her own live theater team whose interesting and lively performance prepared the students to listen attentively to her talk. She also showed a video presentation on abortion and it made a great impact on the students. The talk ended with the students making a covenant to abstain from premarital sex. It was a solemn moment indeed. Seeing the students sign their names on the card, one by one, greatly comforted and encouraged me. I pray that God will continue to guide their heart.
Some students from Chung Hua Middle School No.3 shared that they used to think that boy-girl relationships were just a game and part of growing up. After the talk they realized that the intent of a love relationship should be towards marriage, and thus should be taken seriously. A student from SMK Kuching High previously believed in the effectiveness of the condom, but the talk changed his mind. Another student from SMK Padawan shared that he now realized that being involved in boy-girl relationships will affect a student's future.
In order that more people may benefit from Ms. Yap's talk, we have included a summary of some of the points from her message below.
To plant a flower, we should patiently wait for it to blossom. If we become impatient and pull the seedlings, hoping that it will grow faster, though it seems taller it will end up dying. The same is true for a boy-girl relationship. If we are not willing to wait but impatiently venture into a love relationship, we will miss the part of having a good friendship and our marriage will also become unstable.
True love is patient …
- Sex and intimacy is perfectly good; it is a gift prepared by the creator for the husband and wife. There is an appropriate time to experience the goodness and joy of sex and intimacy, and that time is only after marriage on the marriage bed.
- Only sex and intimacy within marriage is pure and beautiful.
- We must prevent ourselves from falling into a situation where we will compromise our body and mind because of lust.
True love waits …
The purpose of dating is to prepare for marriage in order to build our own family. Since sex and intimacy is meant for marriage, we should keep our chastity until marriage.
A formula for true love ...
These are the principles for a successful and wholesome dating, and prerequisites for a successful marriage:
- Before dating: establish a meaningful friendship
- During dating: pursue spiritual unity
- Within marriage: become one body
If we reverse the order and engage in premarital sex, we will only focus on the physical aspect, and the soul-sharing and love life will cease.
The consequences of engaging in premarital sex:
- Feelings of guilt and inferiority; the normal personality and holistic development of the individual will be impeded; withdrawal from social life
- Premarital pregnancy-abortion, unmarried/single mother or father
- Many men are not willing to marry a woman who is not a virgin
- Premarital sex very often leads one to marry an incompatible spouse
- Premarital sex causes brokenness in marriage and the tendency towards divorce is higher
- It may seem easier for those who engage in premarital sex to have sexual satisfaction, but later they will be easily dissatisfied in their sex life
- Couples who have engaged in premarital sex have a higher tendency for adultery
If you have had physical intimacy/premarital sex:
a. Stop and reject it boldly b. Re-evaluate your purpose for dating; rebuild a healthy and pure relationship c. Develop good hobbies d. If you are curious about sex, do not get information through pornography; look for the right information from sex education seminars e. Build accountability with someone who can guide you towards a healthy relationship
(Content of summary courtesy of Ms. Yap Suke Fong)
