The Path to Reconciliation
by Dr Leong Tien Fock
Most Christians take for granted that when Christ died on the cross, He bore our sins. That means He substituted for us and suffered on our behalf. This is clearly taught in Scripture. But this teaching is becoming unpopular, especially among some younger Christians. It has even been labeled "cosmic child abuse". This is not the place for a comprehensive response to this rising trend. We will only consider one issue.
The charge of "cosmic child abuse" is based on the assumption that the teaching that Christ died on our behalf means Christ was punished as an innocent third party by His Father. This is not true. We need to look at the nature of forgiveness. In the process we will also see why forgiveness is difficult, and why in some cases reconciliation is even more difficult. This helps to explain why there is often an impasse in resolving personal conflicts.
To forgive is to cancel a debt. In the Lord's Prayer we read, "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors" (Matt 6:12). In human relationships this idea is more clearly seen when we forgive someone whose offense against us involves material loss. If I spread lies about you and cause you to lose a well-paying job, I owe you a debt. You can actually sue me for damages. To forgive me means you cancel that debt by absorbing all the loss yourself. Even if the lies did not result in material loss, you could still have sued me for the emotional pain you suffered. To forgive me means you willingly endure the pain and let me go scot-free.
So to forgive others we must be willing to bear the consequence of their wrong against us, whatever the consequence may be. What makes forgiveness difficult is that only the offended party can forgive. If I offend you, neither your pastor nor your father can forgive me on your behalf. But if you are the one who is offended, often the last thing on your mind is to forgive me. You may even scream, "How can I let him go scot-free for what he did to me?!"
When we sin, we sin against God. So only God can forgive sin. And to forgive sin, God Himself must bear the consequence of sin, which is death. That means God must die. But God cannot die. So God had to become man to bear the consequence of sin. As John Stott puts it, it was "God in Christ" who died on our behalf. Hence Christ was not "punished as an innocent third party". He was the offended party. When He hung on the cross, He willingly bore the consequence of our sins so that we could be forgiven.
But when Christ died on the cross two thousand years ago, we were not even born. We could not have contributed to Him being crucified. How then could He be bearing the consequence of our sins? Christ's undeserved death was the actual consequence of sins against Him. Judas Iscariot, His own trusted disciple, out of greed betrayed Him. The Jewish leaders out of envy and jealousy conspired to have Him killed. Pontius Pilate, even though he declared Him innocent, out of cowardice and selfish ambition sentenced Him to death. And these sins that put Christ on the cross had the same origin as that of ours - the sin of Adam. Christ's death was ultimately the consequence of this sin, in which we all have a share. In this sense our sins had a part in putting Christ on the cross.
Not only is forgiveness difficult, reconciliation can be even more difficult. Forgiveness is unconditional. It is the willingness to bear the consequence of the offense, even if the offender does not confess or repent of his wrongdoing. And this is indispensable to mending the broken relationship. However, after the offended party has forgiven the offender - he no longer holds the wrong against him - there is still no real reconciliation if the offender does not repent of his wrongdoing. For to restore the relationship to what it was before, the offended needs to be able to trust the forgiven offender like before.
Forgiveness is a choice that depends entirely on the offended, but regaining trust in the offender is not. For having been the victim of the offender, he will not be able to trust him like before until and unless he sees evidence that the offender has repented. Often it is difficult to get the offender just to recognize that what he did was wrong, let alone repent of it. We can then imagine how difficult it can be to get both the offended to forgive and the offender to repent. This explains why reconciliation can be so difficult when there is a serious breach in human relationship.
We have described humanity in general. What about relationships within the Christian community?
By the grace of God forgiveness of sin is freely available to every human being. But only "whosoever" humbles himself and repents of his sin experiences it and is reconciled to God. It is not easy to do this. For the natural heart is hardened toward God. But if one has truly become a Christian, he would have repented, and his heart of stone would have become a heart of flesh. Thus a Christian should find it easier to confess and repent of the wrongs he has committed against others.
Also, since a Christian has experienced God's forgiveness he should be ready to forgive those who have wronged him. And we have not even mentioned the supernatural empowerment available through the Holy Spirit who indwells Christians. Therefore reconciliation should be significantly easier within the Christian community. Otherwise, we have fallen short of the grace of God.
Dr Leong Tien Fock is Research coordinator of Malaysia
Campus Crusade for Christ.
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